Uchi-Soto: The In-Group / Out-Group Keigo Shift
Quick Answer: 内外 (uchi-soto) principle: when speaking to an outsider, your entire in-group (company, family) is 'lowered' with humble forms — even your boss.
Why Japanese people talk about their own boss humbly to outsiders
Category: Keigo (Honorifics)
The Rule
内外 (uchi-soto) principle: when speaking to an outsider, your entire in-group (company, family) is 'lowered' with humble forms — even your boss. To a client, you say '社長の田中はただいまおりません' (humble), not 'いらっしゃいません' (respectful). The dividing line shifts depending on context.
Why This Matters
This is perhaps the most counterintuitive keigo rule for English speakers. In English, you'd still say 'President Smith isn't available' respectfully. In Japanese, your boss becomes part of your 'humble circle' when addressing outsiders. It's like your whole company is one unit bowing to the client.
Examples
• 田中はただいま席を外しております。 — "Tanaka is away from his desk at the moment." [No honorific title + おる (humble) — talking about your boss to an outsider] • 弊社の者が参ります。 — "Someone from our company will come." [弊社 (our humble company) + 参る (humble go/come)] • 父がよろしくと申しておりました。 — "My father said to give you his regards." [No title for father + 申す (humble say) + おる (humble) — to outsider about family] • 私どもでは対応いたしかねます。 — "We are unable to handle this." [私ども (humble 'we') + いたしかねる (humble unable to do)]
Common Mistakes
❌ 鈴木部長はいらっしゃいません。 (to a client) ✅ 鈴木はただいまおりません。 → To outsiders: drop the title (部長), drop the さん, use humble form (おる). Your boss is part of your 'humble team' when facing clients ❌ うちの母がおっしゃっていました。 (to teacher) ✅ 母が申しておりました。 → おっしゃる (respectful) is for others, not your family. To outsiders about family, use humble: 申す
Quick Tip
Draw a mental circle: everyone inside (your company, your family) gets humble forms when speaking to someone outside. The 'outside' person gets respectful forms. The circle shifts — within your company, your boss gets respect; facing a client, your boss joins your humble team.
Draw a mental circle: everyone inside (your company, your family) gets humble forms when speaking to someone outside. The 'outside' person gets respectful forms. The circle shifts — within your company, your boss gets respect; facing a client, your boss joins your humble team.
Examples
Common Mistakes
Incorrect: 鈴木部長はいらっしゃいません。 (to a client) → Correct: 鈴木はただいまおりません。. To outsiders: drop the title (部長), drop the さん, use humble form (おる). Your boss is part of your 'humble team' when facing clients
Incorrect: うちの母がおっしゃっていました。 (to teacher) → Correct: 母が申しておりました。. おっしゃる (respectful) is for others, not your family. To outsiders about family, use humble: 申す
Quiz
A client calls. Your CEO Mr. Yamada is out. You say: